


The Emoji Movie by Tin

by Talking_Walking_Trashbag



Category: The Emoji Movie (2017)
Genre: F/M, I SPENT MY TIME WRITING THIS INSTEAD OF MY OTHER FICS, ITS OVER 2500 WORDS, ITS THE EMOJI MOVIE BY ME, M/M, MY HAND IS FUCKING SHAKING YALL, Read the Title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 05:07:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talking_Walking_Trashbag/pseuds/Talking_Walking_Trashbag
Summary: I rewrote the Emoji Movie and basically made a Dear Evan Hansen au for it????! I fuckin hate myself y'all





	The Emoji Movie by Tin

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my version of The Emoji Movie aka: I have finally cracked and this a cry for help. Help m

The scene opens/starts with our main boi, Alex. So, Alex is ~~cosplaying as Connor Murphy~~ dressed in basically all black but, he has on a red drawstring sweater (it's important y’all, trust me). So, all of his “friends” are just those assholes who’s only purpose in school is apparently dicking around. So, they like playfully hit him on the shoulder and stuff but, he just stands there, lips in a thin line. He's not like talking or even listening. He has earbuds in. So, the bell rings and they all file into the school. There are two people, one boy and one girl, standing by a locker just fuckin glaring at Alex. Like, he killed their cat or he took 15 pencils and never gave them back. Anyway! Cut to them being in class because why not.  
So, our boi Alex is texting his 50th side hoe in the middle of class and is using ALL of the thot/fuckboi emojis. So now we get succ ed into the emoji world where we meet Gene, a normal fucking “meh” emoji. He's grouchy and is holding a cup of coffee in the little control area thingy because Alex pulled an all-nighter the previous night and he used basically only the “meh” emoji. So, Gene, who isn't angry or sad, just “meh” BECAUSE COMEDY! 

Anyway, the teacher catches Alex and send him to the principal’s office, which is a thing that happens in New Jersey. Some teachers give you a warning or take away your phone but, the asshole ones are just like,  
“go to the office, you're such a piece of shit for trying to be happy during the 6-8 hours that you have suffer”. Okay, so Alex is in the principal’s office, pissed off because he's Alex, idk. His arms are crossed across his chest. But, the audio is kinda “jubchjw” and it sounds like everything is underwater. There are tears in his eyes, but, he blinks it away and starts to get really angry and CLUTCHES THE RIBBING OF HIS SWEATER. So, he yells at his principal like a true dumbass but, the principal is tired and is like, 

“listen here motherfucker, this is like your tenth time being in the office this week. Like, calm the fuck down. I'm gonna call your parents, enjoy class bitch baby.” Alex gets up, knocking the chair down and leaves without picking it up you know, like an asshole.  
So, it cuts to Alex and the assholes™ are outside and then there's a car just honking as loud as possible. Alex narrows his eyes at it and realizes 

“O shit that me parents”. He throws his hood over his head and as the assholes are laughing at him gets into the car, slamming his backpack down. His dad is fuming and his mom is quiet, almost like she's scared to add to the already toxic atmosphere. He takes his phone out of it's pocket and it's buzzing. From one of the assholes named “Marc” or some shit. I don't know what I'm doing.

Marc: Did the parents throw you out yet?  
You know, because Marc is an asshole. So, at first our boi Alex types out:

Alex: no, but it'll happen soon I can bet on it.  
He erases it and writes:

Alex: I'll do it myself. Probably make them happy to get rid of a mess up that call their child (insert sad face emoji)  
(Yo, me rewriting the Emoji Movie is totally not just me venting) He erases that and writes. 

Alex: Yooooo, probably gonna throw out the car by the shirt (crying laughing emoji) 

Marc: lmaooooo

So, the Emoji realizes what's going on because he's using the emoji than erasing them, so they're like  
“ we're all in this together™. We gotta make our boi Alex happy again.” And Gene steps up like (insert white explorer name from Europe going to discover/explore The New World/The USA) and signs up to lead the ish. And High Five, an unused emoji goes up. Gene groans but, is like 

“alright I guess, since none of these unfaithful motherfuccs don't wanna do it.”. First, so we can actually have emotions towards the emojis, the High Five family is so happy and excited that their son is getting paired with a famous emoji. So, they uncover that High Five is this huge dork for the top three emojis, Crying Laughing, Gene, and the Black Box emoji. So, they hurry and start their journey. 

BACK TO THE REAL WORLD 

Alex is home and runs up to his room. Now, because I love my version Alex, (yes, I apparently have Emoji Movie head cannons. This is new to me too) he’s secretly a huge fucking dork. I'm talking Harry Potter posters, movie posters, NASA shit. and a (meaning one) shelf of books. So, there's that. He has a picture of his family on the wall, revealing he has a sister. She's his age, 16, and totally Zoe Murphy, who the fuck am I kidding. So, there's that (I think that's my new favorite phrase, wtf?????). Alex sits on his bed and does random shit in his phone. 

SPEAKING OF PHONES!!!! 

The emojis go around the phone, we discover that High Five is the biggest nerd for everything on the phone, he knows his way around the phone. This features the only joke in the actual Emoji Movie that made me closed mouth, slightly chuckle and it's the “what could a teenage boy possibly have to have to keep from parents on his phone” joke. I have no sense of humor y'all. So, they stumble into the wrong app that's filled with viruses and bugs and stuff, it's a “get free coins for clans of clash” because 1. I ain't getting fucking sued for the Emoji movie and 2. It's true m8. So, they stumble into ultra mega hacker, ~~Wildstyle~~ Jailbreak. I'm still so fucking annoyed that I know all of their names by heart. Anyway, they acquire Jailbreak and are like 

“Help us m8 and we'll do whatever you want ;)”. And Gene is falling hard (not the only thing that's hard AYOOOOO) but, that's not what this movie’s about. So, Jailbreak agrees and Jailbreak is like, 

“If you wanna know what's up with your kid, let's go up to the camera and figure what's up. We can hear and watch everything up there.”. And High Five being relatable™ says, 

“Because we will definitely stumble onto something we won't regret.”. 

So,,,,,,,cut to Alex being called down to eat dinner. So, everybody is downstairs, eating quietly but, his sister,,,, uhh let's call her Reagan because, presidents. So, Reagan is nervous as heck because she knows something is going to go wrong so, her leg tapping goes from 0 to fuckin 100 in .05 seconds. So, Alex being his teen self says, 

“Stop your damn tapping.” Because Alex is totally not Connor Murphy. Like, who is he??? Coiner Menthol???? Never heard of him. 

“Don't talk to your sister like that.” The mom says, sighing like it happens all the time. 

“Can you at least tell her to shut up?” Alex goes straight to yelling because, it's either no talking or yelling, you only got two. 

“Don't talk to your mother like that!” His dad yells back. Yo, this just Dear Evan Hansen x Emoji Movie thing. OH MY GOD I JUST FUCKING MADE THE EMOJI MOVIE AU FOR DEH SUCK MY DICK Y’ALL. 

“Yeah, like you don't do that already.” Alex mutters. What a horrible, snarky little bitch fuck him you guys. 

“Excuse me young man?” His dad yells, slamming his hands on the table lifting him self up. (Yo, I swear nobody I've met has done this in all seriousness. Idk if it's the DEH pumping through my veins like a shot of heroin but,) Alex flinches hard first but, mimics his father’s movements, laughing. I love this so much if you can't tell, rewriting the Emoji Movie is way more fun than I thought it was going to be. His dad gets more pissed than Alex thought and makes his way towards Alex. Alex steps back a bit but, still stands his ground.

“I knew you were always a good for nothing fa-” it's cut off by the emoji’s watching at the camera control panel. They watch in horror and it cuts to them walking to another app. 

“This is going to be very, very hard. You guys realize that?” Jailbreak says after downloading the camera onto her little wrist thingy and a while of silence. High Five and Gene nod. Well, Gene nods and High Five says yeah because he can't nod, R.I.P. 

“We have to go back to the text message app.” High Five says. 

“Wait, why? We'd just go back to the other emojis.” Gene asks. Oh my god Gene, your such a fucking idiot stop immediately. 

“I see what you're stabbing at, High Five.” Jailbreak starts to run to the text app then High Five then a confused Gene.  
Anyway, we go back to Alex in his room, completely dark except for a lava lamp because he can only get so fuckin nerdy, and his phone light on his face. He's sitting up right (idk why this important, but, whenever I cry in bed or some shit I sit upright so that all the tears go down and not across or to the sides of my face. Fun fact™). He has visible tear tracks down his face. He laughs at a cat video because we gotta mention the cat vids on YouTube. Somebody knocks at the door but, he tells whoever, 

“Go away before I break your face.”. His sister’s face twists as she looks at her mom and she goes into her room. The mom sighs and walks into the parent’s room. 

So, Alex falls asleep eventually and it goes back to the emojis at the text message app and they enter. This time, instead of going straight ahead they take a turn, putting them at “Past Messages”. They see a plethora of contacts but, they reach the bottom of the list which consists of three contacts “Living Meme (creepy ass moon emoji)”, “Sunshine (sun emoji) (heart emoji)”, and “The Three Mouseketeers (Two boy bunny dancers Emoji) (salsa dancer emoji)”. Y'all this is where the story gets a little gay + juicy so, stay tuned. High Five puts out one finger to signal “hold on”. He looks into the “Sunshine” contact and looks at the last texts. 

Sunshine: you are seriously siding with your dad?

Alex: YOU PUNCHED HIM IN A DENNY’S PARKING LOT

Sunshine: Because he called us

Sunshine: I've told you what he called us 5 million times, how do u not get it???

Alex: I guess you weren't high class enough to do it in an IHop parking lot, huh?

Sunshine: wow Alex! You are so freaking mature! F U

Alex: F U IN THE-

High Five stopped reading at that point. So, he composes a new text. 

Alex: meet me in the park at 4 (sweating emoji)

The emojis are confused because they're being used and High Five goes back to Jailbreak and Gene. Jailbreak nods and takes them back to outside the app. 

IN THE MORNING ALEX WAKES UP TO HIS PHONE BUZZING ALMOST OFF HIS BED! WHICH MY OLD PHONE DID ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IT’S SO FUCKING ANNOYING JFC

Okay, so he looks at his phone and he sees a full page of notifications from “Living Meme” and “Sunshine”. He opens it to see this:  


Sunshine

Sunshine: if you and your gang gang are going to beat me up, that's weak as heck  
Sunshine: wtevr, I'll be there but, taking Allison with me  
Sunshine: I hate you so much, you better have a full explanation and apology 

Living Meme  
Living Meme: Jamie told me what you told him  
Living Meme: if you hurt his feelings, I'll break your nose  
Living Meme: if you ditch us, I'll break your nose.  
Living Meme: if I see you with those goons of yours, I'll break your nose.

Alex is just like, “wtf” then he sees the message that “he” sent, he freaks out. Why is his phone possessed? Why did it send that message to his ex? Why is Allison so interested in breaking Alex’s nose? The world may actually never know. He realizes he woke up at like 3 because he is a disfunctional teenager™ so, we have the cliche “falling over while getting dressed” scene.

(By now, we have passed 2,000 words. Are you proud yet mom?)

So, at the park, (since he has David Dobrick's wardrobe) he has black pants and shit but, is wearing that red hoodie. He’s nervous but, he sees Allison (Living Meme) and Jamie (Sunshine). He throws the hood on, pulls the strings, turns around and walks away but, returns five seconds later. He goes up to the bench and says hi. Remember those two kids at the locker earlier in the movie????? YES, THIS IS THEM! Allison is still glaring while Jamie just looks bored. Before either one of the pair can say anything, Alex whips off the jacket and shoves it towards Jamie. 

“This is yours.” Jamie takes it and throws it over Alex's shoulders and responds with,

“I only asked for an apology.”. Okay, so there is this whole talk on how shit Alex’s life is and it's wild but, I'm honestly not that dedicated to the Emoji Movie fandom, you know? So, it ends with Alex crying on screen for the first time and he gives Jamie one of those hugs. You know, the hugs where the person crying rests their head on the other person’s shoulder and is holding onto the other person like they're a ballon about to fly away? Literally the most heartbreaking and tear jerking hugs to ever receive? Yeah, those are in my version of the Emoji Movie so, succ it. 

So, Allison joins in in the hug and they talk it through and they're all friends again. 

BACK in the Emoji world, we see the squad/The gang gang™ about to enter the Emoji place, right? So, Gene takes Jailbreak aside and says 

“I like you, be my bae *rawr* xD.” (I hate myself too don't worry). But, like in the original, Jailbreak rejects him. So, I put this together for Jailbreak’s speech. 

“Gene, I like you too but, as a friend. You can't go around, falling for the first girl that you go on an adventure with. I appreciate it so much but, we don't even know each other at all. It seems like a poorly put together amateur Y/A romance novel.” So, Gene is like “ I know a lot about you!” Then, Jailbreak pulls down her hood to reveal she's a princess. She takes her crown and breaks it in half. Throwing it on the ground. 

“That is Jailbreak you want to get to know and like.” She says pointing to the crown on the ground. “This Jailbreak is way different and I like her that way.” Gene is disappointed but, they move through anyway. What Jailbreak wanted in the beginning was to be accepted like the other emojis but, not for being a princess of being Jailbreak so, when they come back the other emojis are like "wtf where were you and what the hacker are you wearing" and Gene is like "she's the Jailbreak emoji" so, all of the emojis are just like "sure what the fuck ever" and Jailbreak introduces Gene to another princess emoji and the wonky face emoji is winking at both of them because fucking comedy.

A couple weeks pass by and everything is fine. Alex actually sat down and talked to his parents and his sister, he dumped the assholes, and he actually puts down his phone more to talk to his friends and all that nice shit. So, the movie FINALLY fucking ends and it ends with the fucking dance from the actual movie except that Alex is with Jamie instead of what's her face and Allison is the one to take the selfie. And the emojis discuss how lit everything was. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that, I had fun writing it (a single tear fell out of my eye when I was write that) ummm, read my other stories because they aren't about the Emoji Movie.  
> Go to my Tumblr @musicalsfuckmeup and fuck with me on twitter @PanBerry_Bitch


End file.
